Man’s Sexuality
Man is created for action
Man is created to be strong, fast, to be warrior and provider. It is the same
in the animal world. The male is a creature of speed, when the female is a
creature of stability. Man’s psychology is goal orientated, when woman’s
psychology is more tuned to the present moment. It is clear why this is so.
To survive requires separation of roles and responsibilities. For millions
of years men has been developing his instinct for providing. He had no time
to stay in one place (in the cave, for example), he had to run-run-run, to
get-get-get, for himself and for others, who stayed in the cave. That’s
why man is goal orientated. Woman was created to reproduce. She needed time
and safety for this, she had to be very attentive to look after small unskilled
ones. She had to notice every little change in and around, to be aware of
danger, that’s why she is more intuitive and sensual.
In eastern books man’s sexuality is viewed
as “fire”. It is easy to understand. Man gets aroused almost instantly.
And he can “finish “ (the fire is burned out) as quickly as he
“got the fire” because when getting aroused man becomes very tense.
If he did not learn how to relax into pleasure soon he find himself in a rush
to orgasm (ejaculation) because “the fire is burning him”. But
even if man does not rush to orgasm his whole body is usually very stressed
by actions following his main instinct for action and achievement.
Woman is defined as “water”. Slow to get “hot” but
slow to “cool down”. So man is slave of his sexuality because
he cannot control it as easily as a woman can. That’s why a woman is
the energy source for a man: she can accumulate the energy. Men can too, but
he needs to learn it when woman can do this naturally.
Thinking about men, any baby boy is happy in mother’s cuddles and he is open to gentleness, smile, peace, nirvana. Mother is the first woman the baby boy experiences on a deep emotional and physical level. This connection is based on subconscious trust, respect, love, innocence of desires. It is a tantric connection, the sense of which, men should bring into their sexual life when they grow into sexual adults. But in reality of modern life with its highly developed society and all the technical and technological progress men lose themselves in the rush for achievements and unfortunately everything around them puts into their heads the wrong images of what sex is like: of what man should be like, all these masculine qualities which leave a man with nothing but fear of failure, neurosis and at the end with utter confusion about his own sexual needs and about the sexual needs of a woman. We can find a hundreds of books teaching us so-called foreplay (even the word “foreplay” itself seems to me humiliating because it sounds like my partner and I should play games before we proceed to something serious, which I suppose should be sex). Other books describe hundreds of sexual positions, which makes lovemaking into restless petty intrigues constantly breaking concentration and obviously not helping in a process of unfolding arousal. Arousal is often lost because of that hustle and becomes more and more difficult to regain. “We tried everything, all these positions but we still can not reach a real sexual happiness”, - one couple told me. All these books on sex promise you a mind-blowing orgasm which is a complete illusion and even a very dangerous illusion for those who really love each other because not achieving orgasm can bring a big division into the sense of love and can eventually kill love.
What does a man loose when he ejaculates quickly or several times in a short period of time?
His energy, his man’s power (he can face impotence in his early 40’s, sometimes much earlier!), he loses vital minerals and elements of his body which are designed to create a baby, not just be “thrown out for no reason”. But the main thing, he loses the love of the woman. Today, in a world of independent women he loses connection to her, makes her feel lonely, unfulfilled, used during the act of lovemaking, so he loses her.
Why do men love pornography, dressing up for sex, watching lesbians etc.?
Because of the fear. Fear of performance. He alwayssubconsciously worries about his erection, ejaculation control, whether he can satisfy the woman. He is the achiever, he is a warrior and in sex he has to win. Because he always relies on intellect, because he is the thinker and the planer, not like a woman, who is pure feelings or senses, he needs something “hot” for his brain. It is easier for man to get aroused when he sees genitalia or act of sex. Stockings makes a woman vagina look inviting. Man’s brain is still very occupied with the image of entering a vagina. By the way this is the main course of premature ejaculation. Man “plays with the fire” without realizing that this is a dangerous play because all these images of “sexy babes” kill man’s ability to sense, to love, to surrender to a moment of love, closeness and pleasure, to dissolve into circle of sweet and powerful female energy vibrating towards his body and recharging him for life.
Women by nature do not want to watch pornography, to put on stockings, or to become a lesbian. I do not talk about nature’s mistakes with hormones or about all these tragedies of domination over the female senses which distorts her inner sense of beauty and force her to look for all these not natural sexual practices. A lot of women do what a man wants for security, for money, for survival. But deep down they want love! To feel loved and to express love! To feel beautiful and feminine as they are. Many of them have forgotten how to be like that.
What is wrong with man’s
beliefs?
1. That a woman likes a hard and big penis
2. That a woman always needs orgasm
3. That variety of sex positions can save from routine in sex
4. That a woman does not want sex as often as a man wants
What does a man need to do
to become sexually happy?
Surrender to the woman! Learn to relax into pleasure, to be present and tuned
to woman’s touch and her presence without action over her body. He needs
to learn to be slow to be able to absorb all sensations which his body gets
and which his touch gives. In other words man needs to learn how to feel like
a woman! But also he needs to learn how to keep stable high energy (power
of erection) through the life, bringing into lovemaking male fire of passion.
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