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In Tao practice orgasm is the state of being. In traditional sexual practice orgasm is a short time experience.
Ejaculation is just a simple reflex of your genitals to reduce uncomfortable pressure of sexual energy created by stimulating sensual trigger points and making a boiling oven from your low body: the type of orgasm that most people only know and which is disappointing for a tantric lover.
Tantric orgasm is endless, lovers could stop it any time and start all over again. It is not as tense as an ejaculative orgasm because “the heat” (arousal) is gained and released through the whole body in many waves during the long period of time. During the ordinary mainstream sexual practice arousal is forced higher and higher and become unbearable for the body. Then a second of explosion happens and a complete emptiness comes afterwards.
Tantric orgasm could also end in a very powerful wave but even then it happens as a slow gradual process of building up, resting several times on a way towards the very pick. It result into ecstatic ocean of loving feelings rather then tiredness and desire to full asleep.
Ejaculation could happen during the tantric orgasm. But it is better if it continues without ejaculation. This takes practice! The same for female ejaculation.

Saving sperm for a man is better for his health. Saving energy for a woman is very important too. Loosing sperm reduces man’s power and eventually can lead to impotence. It burns his life potential. Woman’s ejaculation could make her very tired and not sensual for several days. Desire of men or women to “come” through tension is just a mental image they developed through lack of understanding what the making love is about. The aim of making love is making love itself as a expression of love, deep spiritual connection to each other through connection of bodies. Making love in tantric way is the process of waving those incredibly healing and empowering energies towards each other which makes us fill safe, confident, strong, balanced and healthy.
Tantric orgasm can be achieved without penetration and even without oral stimulations, which is never possible in case of ordinary sex… How? Our body is 90% of water! Our body is not only genitalia! We just stuck to genitalia because it is “quick and easy”, but we could “wave” our arousal by many different techniques. The most powerful tool is our emotions. Brain is our engine and it can bring us to any state of our consciousness. This why even disabled people can make love as tantric partners.
Tantric orgasm is mainly soul process, it is emotional arousal. Body stays relaxed and soft, waving in a very gentle and slow paste.

From book by Osho “The Book of Secrets”:

Your sex act and tantric sex act are different. Your sex act is to relieve; it is just like sneezing out a good sneeze. The energy is thrown out and you are unburdened. It is destructive, it is not creative. It is good – therapeutic. It helps you to relax, but nothing more.

The tantric sex act is basically, diametrically opposite and different. It is not to relieve, it is not to throw energy out. It is to remain in the act without ejaculation, without throwing the energy out; to remain in the act merged – just at the beginning part of the act , not the end part. This changes the quality; the complete quality is different then.

Try to understand two things. There are two types of climaxes, two types of orgasm. One type of orgasm as known. You reach to a pick of excitement, then you can not go further: the end has come.
The excitement reaches to a point where it becomes involuntary. The energy jumps into you and goes out. You are relieved of it, unburdened. The load is thrown; you can relax and sleep. You are using it like a tranquilizer.

Tantra is centred on another type of orgasm. If we call the first kind a peak orgasm, you can call the tantric orgasm a valley orgasm. In it you are not coming to the peak of excitement, nut to the very deepest valley of relaxation. Excitement has to be used for both in the beginning. That is why I say that in the beginning both are the same, but the ends are totally different.

Excitement has to be used for both: either you are going towards the peak of excitement or to the valley of relaxation. For the first, excitement has to be intense – more and more intense. You have to grow in it; you have to help it to grow towards the peak. In the second, excitement is just a beginning. And once the man has entered, both lover and beloved can relax.

No movement is needed. They can relax in loving embrace. When the man feels or the woman feels that the erection is going to be lost, only then is a little movement and excitement required. But then again relax. You can prolong this deep embrace for hours with no ejaculation, and then both can fall into deep sleep together. This – is a valley orgasm. Both are relaxed and meet as two relaxed beings.

In the ordinary sexual orgasm you meet as two excited beings – tense, full of excitement, trying to unburden yourselves. The ordinary sexual orgasm looks like madness; the tantric orgasm is a deep, relaxing meditation. Then there is not question of how often one should indulge. You can indulge as much as you like because no energy is lost. Rather, energy is gained.

You may not be aware of it, but this is a fact of biology, of bio-energy, that man and woman are opposite forces. Negative-positive, yin-yang, or whatsoever you call them, they are challenging to each other. And when they both meet in a deep relaxation, they revitalize each other. The both revitalize each other, the both become generators, they both feel livelier, the both become radiant with new energy, and nothing is lost. Just be meeting with the opposite pole energy is renewed.

The tantric love act can be done as much as you like. The ordinary sex act cannot be done as much as you like because you are loosing energy in it, and your body will need to wait to regain it. And when you regain it, you will only lose it again. This looks absurd. The whole life is spent in gaining and losing, regaining and losing: it is just like an obsession.

The second thing to be remembered: you may or may not have observed that when you look at animals you can never see them enjoying sex. In their sex act you cannot see that they are feeling blissful or enjoying it – you cannot! It seems to be just a mechanical act, a natural force pushing them towards it. If you have seen monkeys in intercourse, after the intercourse they will separate.

The ordinary sex act is like this, but moralists have been saying “Do not indulge, this is as animals do”. This is wrong! Animal never enjoy; only man can enjoy. And the deeper you can enjoy, the higher is the kind of humanity that is born. And if your sex act become meditative, ecstatic, the highest is touched. But remember: Tantra is not a peak experience. It is a valley experience!

You go into excitement towards the peak, and then you fall. That is why, after every sex act, you feel a fall. And it is natural: you are falling from the peak. You will never feel that after the a tantric sex experience. Then you are not falling. You can not fall any further because you have been in the valley. Rather, you are rising.

When you come back after a tantric sex act, you have risen, not fallen. You feel filled with energy, more vital, more alive, radiant. And that ecstasy will last foe hours, even for days. It depends on how deeply you were in it. If you move into it, sooner or later you will realize that ejaculation is wastage of energy. No need of it – unless you need children. And with the tantric sex experience you will feel a deep relaxation the whole day. One tantric sex experience, and even for days you will feel relaxed – at ease, at home, non-violent, non-angry, non-depressed.

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